- AW, 27, is a YouTuber who virtually moved from Chicago to Texas in 2021.
- She had signed a lease and packed up her outdated house when she instantly had a change of coronary heart.
- She mentioned she now regrets not shifting and hopes others will embrace the unknown.
This as-told-to essay is predicated on a dialog with AW, a 27-year-old YouTuber who works in promoting and lives in Chicago. AW was employed by Fb in 2021 and made plans to maneuver to Texas for her new position. However on the final minute, she determined to skip the transfer and keep in Chicago — a choice she says she now regrets.
After highschool, I actually did not know what I needed to do. I’ve a twin sister who I am very shut with, who mentioned, “I’ll Chicago,” and I used to be like, ” what? Me, too.”
We got here to Chicago for undergrad, and I have been right here ever since. I have been residing right here for about 9 years now.
I fell in love with it instantly. Chicago was the metropolis. There’s a lot to do, public transportation, individuals in all places. It was the proper metropolis to get a profession going.
I assumed it was going to be my perpetually residence. However that modified.
I graduated from school in December of 2019, after which March 2020 was the pandemic. There was actually no stress to get my profession began throughout COVID.
However as soon as issues began opening again up and the world began to grow to be “regular” once more, numerous my buddies left Chicago. My twin sister left, too.
It simply appeared like everybody began to have these new postgrad lives. I felt like I used to be actually lacking out on that.
I used to be transitioning careers on the time.
I bought a proposal from Fb. I had beforehand labored in a contracted position for the corporate, and that is what helped me land my full-time position at Fb.
Once they employed me, they mentioned I may work from one in every of two areas: both Austin, Texas, or Chicago.
Understanding that every one of my buddies and my sister had left Chicago, I naturally needed to go to Austin. So I selected Texas. This was an organization that will transfer me, so I would not have to fret in regards to the problem of shifting.
The corporate despatched me to Austin to search for flats. However I bought there and I noticed Austin was not my vibe.
I used to be like, “The place are the individuals?” There was nobody driving round. It was not for me.
I used to be so used to Chicago being a really multicultural metropolis. I simply did not really feel that method after I went to go to Austin. The whole lot was so spaced out.
So I spoke to my new supervisor on the job and I mentioned, “The places of work are nonetheless closed, what if I transfer to Dallas as an alternative?” I figured it was the subsequent smartest thing. I felt like there was a bit extra tradition there.
I had by no means visited Texas earlier than I bought this position, however I had a cousin in Dallas and he or she simply appeared like she beloved it.
My supervisor mentioned I may do this. Nonetheless, as soon as the places of work opened, I must commute backwards and forwards from Dallas to Austin.
It sounds loopy now. It is a few two-and-a-half-hour drive. However I had religion that the places of work weren’t going to open anytime quickly.
Courtesy of Ayahna Wilbon
The corporate would not transfer me to Dallas, however they might transfer me to Austin. So I made a decision to maneuver to Austin, and from there, I might transfer to Dallas. It could be simpler and cheaper to maneuver my stuff inside Texas.
I went to Dallas for a pair weeks and checked out flats and checked out the neighborhoods. I discovered an income-driven housing program and labored with an agent in Dallas. He had a loft out there for me.
I used to be going to lease the house for about $1,300 a month and have a pool, a washer and dryer, and a dishwasher.
It appeared like the celebs had been aligning in Dallas.
However in Chicago, I had a fairly candy deal on the house I am nonetheless in at present. My lease was $925 on the time for a 700-square-foot studio.
I knew my lease would go up if I moved to Texas. Plus there is not good public transportation there. I may simply see the greenback indicators. I used to be beginning to rethink it.
However at that time, I nonetheless felt like I ought to go to Texas. I had my buddies come assist me pack up my home. The movers got here, and I signed a lease in Austin. My landlord right here in Chicago even began to point out my house.
I went to Dallas one final time to remain in what would have been my house and drove round to a bunch of various neighborhoods.
However I simply felt unhappy. It simply felt off. I felt misplaced. I did not really feel like I belonged.
I felt prefer it wasn’t my time to go away Chicago but. I did not need my lease to go up. I used to be going to should pay for parking. There wasn’t going to be public transportation.
So, I canceled every thing.
My supervisor wasn’t upset as a result of the places of work did not find yourself opening till the next yr, at which level it was my time to go away the corporate. The agent wasn’t actually upset both, and my landlord in Chicago was pleased to let me preserve my house so she did not should undergo the effort of discovering somebody new.
I used to be fortunate there wasn’t a lot fallout apart from a YouTube video I made speaking about my choice. Folks gave me numerous flack for that.
Within the feedback, individuals mentioned, “You had been simply scared,” and, “You need to have executed it,” and, “I am glad you did not come to Texas.” It has been virtually two years or so and persons are nonetheless commenting, “Texas did not need you anyway.”
Courtesy of Ayahna Wilbon/Getty Photographs
On the time, I used to be 25. I felt like I used to be round that “quarter-century disaster” time. Lots of people need to transfer however simply haven’t got the center. It was one thing I needed to do, however I did not have the center!
I made the YouTube video as a result of I felt like it might be good to say, “It is OK you did not do it. It is OK, you bought scared. It is OK, you tried to dip your toe within the water however did not go all the way in which in.”
I used to be in denial that I used to be afraid.
In hindsight, I now notice that I did not make the transfer due to a worry of the unknown. It is one thing I positively type of remorse at present.
I really feel like I missed out on a possibility to take that leap, particularly after I had much less danger. I had an organization that was truly going to maneuver me to Texas. That is exhausting.
I have not been again to Texas since I made my choice however I am getting into February for my cousin’s birthday.
I am on the level at present the place I do nonetheless need to depart Chicago. I have been right here so lengthy and dealing remotely because the pandemic. I need to be compelled into an uncomfortable setting and I can not do this right here in Chicago.
Dallas and Houston are nonetheless on my thoughts. I’ve began making use of to jobs outdoors of Chicago. I am hoping to make a transfer someday in 2024.
I really feel like this expertise made me notice that you just should not let worry drive your life.
Editor’s notice, March 13, 2023: We anonymized the supply on this story after publication. Enterprise Insider has confirmed the supply’s id. We made this choice to make use of the supply’s initials as a result of issues about impacting the supply’s profession.